Prevent Problems Before They Start
The kids just left for school, and you are totally frazzled! Everyone was upset. A homework paper couldn't be found, Billy needed more money for a field trip than what you had in your wallet, and there seemed to be constant bickering between the kids as they were getting ready. Does it have to be this way every day?
Fortunately, the answer is no! The old adage is true: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!" While not every problem can be prevented, many can. The key is to think through the circumstances that can cause problems, and explore ways to prevent it rather than fix it later. Let's look at a few examples.
Is it a safety issue?
Parents of infants probably do this best, possibly because the "problem" is easier to see. To keep their child from getting hurt or from breaking something valuable, items are put on top shelves or stored, and child-proof latches are put on doors.
Is it a social issue?
As children get older, problem prevention may take more thought. Often problems occur when children are in new situations. What can you do? Talk about what you expect ahead of time. Explain to your child where you will be going, what you think might happen, how you would like them to behave. You may even want to role play their conversation with "Aunt Mary" before a family gathering!
Is it a behavior issue?
Misbehavior happens for a reason. Before getting upset with your children, ask yourself a few questions. Do your children know what to do? Do they need attention? Do they feel insecure? Are they too tired, hungry, or not feeling well? Making sure that physical needs are met, assuring your children of your love and attention and teaching them what is expected will go a long ways in preventing misbehavior.
Now back to the morning frenzy! To get the family out the door in the morning with few problems, start the evening - or maybe the weekend - before. Plan ahead! Are all the clothes ready for everyone for the week? Are there changes in the routine that you need to prepare for? Is everything (clothes, money, homework, coats, etc.) located the night before? Can you introduce some friendly cooperation by rewarding everyone for helping each other make the morning go smoothly?
Where are the problem areas in your family? What changes can you make to prevent those problems from happening over and over? What new situation is coming up you can prepare your children for?
Source: Jeanette Friesen, UNL Extension Educator
